Multiple Personalities: How Many Do You Have?

Heather discusses a term — first identified by Eric Berne — called “Ego States”. Eric Berne wrote a book called “Games People Play.” Heather discusses how ego states affect your personality, your independence, and your relationships. Heather discusses how you can use ego states to develop your self-identity, your self-confidence, your inner peace, and your leadership ability. (If you value my podcast, please share with your network, and PLEASE consider leaving me a 5-Star Review via Apple podcast! : )

Listen to Episode 13 here!

The Dark Side of Me: From Human to Psychopath and Back

Heather discusses how her childhood environment — wrought with abuse — nurtured the evil seed to which all humans are born, and how she painstakingly worked to repair the inflicted damage in order to create a healthy, cohesive, humanitarian self-identity in a 10 year long self-help journey. Click here to listen to this podcast episode.

In conclusion, evil is a constant within us all, just as good is a constant within us all. The amount of exposure to evil determines the degree to which we feel comfortable acting upon evil. Being evil is a choice. Evil compulsions can be suppressed. That suppression is a choice. Also, evil compulsions can be neutralized by counterbalancing with conditioning towards “good” behaviors, such as learning compassion and empathy, and then frequently practicing compassion and empathy. Ultimately, to be good or evil is a choice. Click here to listen to this podcast episode.

Are You Tired of Feeling Lost, Alone, Unloved?

This is a clip from Episode 4 of my podcast, Thousand First Dates. This clip explains why some adults harbor feelings of low self-worth. To listen to the full podcast, click here.
This is a clip from Episode 4 of my podcast, Thousand First Dates. This clip continues the explanation of childhood abuse and adult-focused diffused identity. To listen to the full podcast, click here.
This is a clip from Episode 4 of my podcast, Thousand First Dates. This clip discusses my circumstances that led to my diffused identity. To listen to the full podcast, click here.
This is a clip from Episode 4 of my podcast, Thousand First Dates. This clip explains how a diffused identity affects adult relationships. To listen to the full podcast, click here.
This is a clip from Episode 4 of my podcast, Thousand First Dates. This clip encourages the younger generation to trust their intuition in order to avoid partnering with people who have abusive tendencies. To listen to the full podcast, click here.
This is a clip from Episode 4 of my podcast, Thousand First Dates. This clip explains the reasons that abusers abuse. To listen to the full podcast, click here.
This is a clip from Episode 4 of my podcast, Thousand First Dates. This clip encourages listeners to have hope by listing primary abuses I have endured and healed from. To listen to the full podcast, click here.
This is a clip from Episode 4 of my podcast, Thousand First Dates. This clip inspires listeners to persevere. To listen to the full podcast, click here.

Dating Disasters with Guest Host, Krystal Centinello

Heather and Crystal discuss their daily disasters with narcissistic and sociopathic men. They also discuss codependency, psychological healing, self-love, and self-worth.

Audio clip, Episode 8, Dating Disasters

Dear Mental Health Counselors, Have You Mastered the Art of…Being You?

“Knowing others is intelligence;

knowing yourself is true wisdom.

Mastering others is strength;

mastering yourself is true power.”

Lao Tzu

Analogy: Imagine that you are an aspiring plumber. You have fixed leaks in your own bathroom faucet by watching YouTube videos. You say to yourself, “This is easy. I can fix other faucets.” So now you want to become a plumber. You post a service ad. A customer answers the ad, so you go to their house to fix the problem. The customer says there is a moist stain on their wall that they think needs repair. You say that you have the answer. So you go to the Home improvement store, you buy stain blocking paint, you go back to the home and cover the stain with paint, and you tell the customer that their wall is good as new. Meanwhile, you go home to cover your own wall stain with stain-blocking paint. In time, the walls collapse. Due to lack of training, you apply the right solution to the wrong problem. The wall did not just need paint, because the problem was much deeper. A leaking pipe needed to be replaced, but you did not have the skills or training to know better.

Relating to mental health professionals (MHP), the human mind is a complex strata of thought and emotion shaped by experience (some of which is trauma). While it is acceptable to offer help in the areas for which you are skilled — liken fixing a leaky faucet to formulating a plan for good habits — it is important that you understand your limitations.

You must realize what you do know and what you do not know. You must understand how to accurately match solutions to problems. You must know when and how you need to refer clients to a specialized MHP. You must know a.) your own biases b.) your own character weaknesses in which you still struggle (because all humans struggle) c.) how to guard against transference and countertransference d.) how to set and maintain healthy boundaries.

Being self-aware is important. However self-mastery of self-awareness is crucial to helping others help themselves in a mental healing process.

Have you searched all the dark corners of your mind? Have you uprooted and repaired all your emotional insecurities. If you are at peace with yourself, if you are confident to share your weaknesses, then you have. (Clue: If you struggle with depression, anxiety, and/or feelings feelings of low self-worth, if you still hide your past failures, then you have not, which means you must be careful when endeavoring as a mental health professional of any title.)

Be clear to list the services of what you can and can not provide in order to set accurate expectations for prospective clients. If you are unsure of what you can provide (and if you are unable to verbalize what it is you provide, then you are unsure), then thoroughly conduct research and study until you are sure and can clearly articulate your services and abilities.

A Story of Child Abuse and LGTBQ Manipulation

Munchhausen syndrome by Proxy is a serious mental illness that endangers the lives of children.

The subject of this particular situation is a mother who encouraged her child to embrace transgenderism. The most likely scenario is that the mother began conditioning her son from birth to believe that he was a girl. The mother may have been secretly mournful of her son’s gender and encouraged by hearing passersby tell her that her baby was “such a pretty girl” or “you have such a pretty daughter”, she decided to influence her son to believe he was a girl, so that by age 3 the child was regurgitating his mother’s wishes and longings. This emulation is normal for a child since a child longs to please the parent and having been conditioned for so long the child would know no other reality.

This mother a.) used the LGBTQ – revolution to get attention in the form of praise and sympathy. She most likely also wanted a daughter, so she was able to achieve two objectives.

The medical establishment who is performing the gender-mutilating procedures/treatments is most likely experimental and research-oriented, so they unethically jumped at the chance to experiment on a live “guinea pig”.

The mother most likely has been lying for and to her child and influencing/conditioning her child from a very early age.

This child will have serious identity issues moving into adolescence. Depression, anxiety, identity confusion, and regret will mark this human’s childhood lifecycle. The child once turned adult will be wrought with inner turmoil, which will affect the human quality of life in all areas.

No matter what your opinion of the #LGBTQ revolution, a three-year-old child should never be persuaded to make such life-altering decisions before real understanding can be achieved. This case study is one of child abuse. Gender modification is just a new weapon used to harm children by maladaptive parents.

Munchhausen syndrome by Proxy is a fact and this case study is an example.

To read the full article of origin, click here.

“Human sexuality is binary; it’s implicit, it’s in every cell of our bodies,” she said. “Sex is not assigned to people. It declares itself. We recognize it. Our bodies tell us who we are.”

Dr. Michelle Cerella, American College of Pediatrics

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Thousand First Dates: the origin

For some, meeting 1000 people for a first date is extreme. Well, I’ve dated close to 2000 men from 2007 to present.

How did I do that?

Sometimes I went on 2-3 dates per day. I definitely dated multiple times per week.

Now for some of the men who are listening (and possibly some of the women who are listening) you might be saying, “I bet that bitch went on all those dates to get a free meal.” To which I reply, “No cunts. I went on all those dates to observe human behavior, to practice playing mental chest with narcissists, to hopefully find a man worth spending my time, to entertain myself, and admittedly sometimes to get laid.

So what happened From 2007 to Now?

A lot has happened. In 2006 I had just divorced. I was in my mid-twenties. And I didn’t know a whole lot about life.

I had led a pretty sheltered childhood. I got married early and my marriage lasted 5.5 years. Well, I didn’t want to make that same mistake again. If I were to endeavor upon another relationship, I wanted to make sure that the person I chose was a good fit for my personality, my character, and my values. To be honest, in 2006 (and really into the middle of my 30s) I didn’t know who I was in order to choose a complimentary partner. I didn’t know what I wanted. I had a low self-esteem. For those early years, I had a fractured self-image. A fractured self-identity. Low self-worth And all I really wanted was to be loved. The main focus, the main goal in life was to find love.

So in 2006, I started mental health counseling, because I knew I needed some kind of help. I knew that there was something just not quite right about the way my life was going. There was this empty feeling that I didn’t understand. I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong. But, in 2006, I knew that if I was going to have a healthy, loving relationship (since that was what I aspired to) that I would need to figure out and fix what was wrong in me before I could be good for anyone else. So that’s why I started mental health counseling, and I learned a lot about myself.

It gave me hope, going to mental health counseling, and working through those empty places within myself, so much that I decided to get a master’s degree in forensic psychology.

So I began studying maladaptive behavior in humans and how to resolve that maladaptive behavior and to find solutions. This endeavor led me to studying my master’s in marriage and family therapy, so that I could understand not just the different ways of maladaptive behavior, but the origin of maladaptive behavior.

All this new knowledge helped center me, helped give me a secure self-identity. I finally understood where the emptiness was coming from and I finally understood how to eradicate that emptiness so that when I finally did eradicate the emptiness, my goal in dating changed. I no longer felt lonely. I no longer felt that love was my main purpose or that finding love was my main purpose in life.

My perspective changed, so that I observed dating as a complement to my life. Now, I knew that if I were to add someone to my life, that the person would not be the center of my world, but that the person would be someone to share experiences with, someone to enjoy life with. It was important within the context of a relationship that I would still be me and I would have my own self-identity and so would my partner (if that partner ever came along). However, once I was into my late 30s and early 40s, I realized that the majority of the men I dated had the same issues I had been struggling with in my early to mid 20s. And so it wasn’t easy for me to date anymore. And the focus wasn’t on me changing myself to fit someone else. Instead, I realized that there aren’t many men who can fit my character, values, or my lifestyle.

So why am I still single? I like being single. I enjoy my time with myself In fact, I once told a date this, “If you want to continue dating me, you will have to demonstrate to me how spending my time with you is more valuable than spending my time with myself.” I haven’t found a man yet who is worthy of achieving that particular goal, and that’s okay. I have met a lot of interesting men along my dating journey. For most dates, I had a lot of good conversations with these men. I’ve learned a lot about them to appreciate their individual humanity.

I’ve also met a few pretty scary individuals and I met a lot of sad individuals who are still trying to figure it all out.

So, this podcast is about all the things I learned along my dating journey in respect to love, relationships, sex, the self, and self-healing.

If you want to hear about my wanton, freewheeling escapades, and what I learned… Stay tuned.