The Idea That Changes Everything

Say ‘No’ to Emotional Vampires

What is emotional reactivity? During my childhood, my mother and father were volatile/violent daily. I lived in vigilance/fear, a heightened state of alertness, so that even alone, in my own little world, I was aware that at some point of the day I would be confronted with threat. Then, I had seconds to react toContinue reading “Say ‘No’ to Emotional Vampires”

Choice to Love

On the ride home I was thinking about my Great-Grandma Lorene. I think about her often. Lorene was born in 1901 and she died in 2000. I wish she could have lived forever. She was a quiet, Scotch-Irish woman, 4’10” with a tuft of snow white hair. She could touch her toes and swim threeContinue reading “Choice to Love”

What Can You Withstand?

“I Can’t Stand It!” are the four words that are deadly, yes, deadly…deadly to your success and happiness. Why is this? In order to succeed, we must struggle. Struggle is painful. Pain can be difficult to endure but it is not debilitating. What is debilitating? The four words “I Can’t Stand This” are debilitating andContinue reading “What Can You Withstand?”

Do You Approve?

To recap from the video, our society is conditioned to be approval-seeking, because all humans have a survival instinct to desire belonging. From birth, parents condition children to be approval-seeking through operant conditioning and rewards versus punishment. In addition, children have a natural survival animal instinct to belong. To feel safe, protected, and wanted, aContinue reading “Do You Approve?”

The Reason to be Strong

Humanity is intertwined. Humans need humans. People say, “I don’t need anyone”, but what they mean is “I don’t want to need anyone because the disappointment of rejection/failed expectations hurts.” I get that; I was there once, too. Given my childhood experiences, I have a natural tendency to fall into that pit of insecure attachment.Continue reading “The Reason to be Strong”

The Origin of Your Discontent

Have you ever known someone who was discontent? Have you ever — at some point — felt discontent? Have you ever stopped to consider where the discontent originated? Most people when discontent point the finger outward. 👉🏼 However, most often we should be pointing the finger at ourselves. The object of the lesson is notContinue reading “The Origin of Your Discontent”

Achieving Inner Peace

To view the video, click here. What is peace? The dictionary has several definitions, which are a.) non-warring condition of a nation b.) an agreement or treaty between warring or antagonistic nations, groups, etc. c.) freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety over an obsession, etc. The type of peace I refer to isContinue reading “Achieving Inner Peace”

How Are Anger and Hurt Connected?

Anytime you are angry, you are also emotionally hurt. Anger is the top layer of emotion that buries the emotional hurt. It’s easier to be angry, because then we don’t have to admit our hurt. Oftentimes, we deny that we are hurting, because to admit hurt is to admit vulnerability. Admitting vulnerability to others canContinue reading “How Are Anger and Hurt Connected?”

Do You Have A Choice?

The Year is 2006 Janie sat with her counselor feeling frustrated. “I lost my job.” She had replayed the scenario in her mind multiple times and she had found no way out. It seemed Janie had no choice … … The day before Janie’s meeting with the counselor, Janie was checking her work schedule. The human resources person had numerous employees, so Janie didContinue reading “Do You Have A Choice?”